STEP 1:
Negative, aggressive (Go away!)
Aggression is usually a symptom of ‘non-experienced fear’, which is due to constant pressure being felt by the managers or workers.
Aggressive types:
How to respond to negative, aggressive
For all types: Understand that they want to achieve things too. Understand that they are also trying to make it work but might need help. At the very least, they might need their positive desire to be recognised.
How to approach negative, aggressive staff members
Aggressive people are scary but avoiding them will only feed their deep sense of being out ‘on a limb’ with no-one exercising the discipline and authority they need in order to ‘cool off’ the internal turmoil and intense feelings of ‘It's not fair!’.
Remember, when someone is being a bully there is only one reason … they feel out of control.
Lack of control and poor organisation will need to be met head on by a manager who should offer support rather than criticism, whilst still letting them know that their behaviour is letting them down. Look for the practical option here, it may simply be that they may need some personal filing or time management training.
- Talk to the whole team so no one feels singled out (if it applies to the whole team).
- Present a bigger context (picture) of what it is you want to achieve and how it is important to the company as a whole.
- Enlist their support in dealing with it as an organisational symptom, rather than focus on their personalities.
How to approach an aggressive co-worker
If your co-worker is not in control of his or her work, then you can approach them as a peer and concerned co-worker offering friendly support and understanding of what their stress is really about.
- Tell them you understand.
- Share with them how you had to deal with this aspect yourself and how your new approach or idea will make their life easier and help them to be more effective at tackling their work.
- Enlist their support and involve them as a key part of the initiative or project you are initiating as peers.
How to approach an aggressive manager
This is obviously the most difficult area as it is fraught with possible unpleasantness. The main difficulty here is it is almost impossible to criticise a manager directly without offending their pride. To counteract that, it is better to be as professional and objective as possible at all times.
In your own mind, be respectful of their level of responsibility and be efficient with the use of their time. Before having the conversation, write out the order of points you want to go through. The more you clarify your desired outcome beforehand, the easier the meeting will go. Too often, people start a conversation without first having fully resolved what they want to have happen or how they are going to communicate with the other person. Inevitably, this creates ‘automatic’ reactions and mutual ‘knee-jerk responses’ that can actually be avoided.
When presenting new ideas, present a summary of key benefits before you begin. Always produce a complete case for everything that you want to discuss, beforehand.
The best way to deal with aggression from managers is to:
- Listen to them and make sure you hear exactly what is being said.
- Be objective and logical if responding to aggressive criticism but respond with the same energy they are using and if you need time to think about a response, ask for the time to think about what they’ve said (still using the same energy).
If the aggression shown towards you is personal or offensive, it may be best to bring it up with personnel (only if you feel unable to effectively talk about it with him/her) or invite a ‘neutral’ party to witness the conversation.
STEP 2:
Negative, depressed (I don’t care)
Since we discovered ‘culture’ the words ‘staff morale’ have been used to describe this ‘depressed’ cultural problem. However, there is a common misunderstanding that says a low-morale culture means everyone is lethargic, uncaring and exhausted but the word was first used in military terms to describe the ‘morale of the troops’ and they were not depressed, they were just fed up of being shot at relentlessly without break.
If you apply that to the business culture, you could describe this symptom as a collective state of “I can't win” even if it manifests itself as “I don't care”.
The depressed culture is usually around a loss of ‘faith’ in the organisation and most importantly in the people about themselves. The person usually feels constantly ineffectual, that they are not listened to or are unable to make a positive contribution and this then extends out to the company as a whole.
Depressed type:
How to respond
Understand the root of this behaviour. It is usually because the person feels ineffectual or that their past initiatives have been ignored, they cannot make a difference or they are not listened to. In all cases it will be a matter of understanding why they feel this way and helping them to understand how that can have an effect and make a positive contribution, as this will be the positive desire behind the negative behaviour.
How to approach your team when they are unresponsive
The first stage will be to approach the person or people and ask them why they feel this way. The most important thing to do here is to listen and not be too keen to provide answers up front. If they can start providing answers, the morale will rise immediately.
You will probably find that, as you draw them out, the answers will come to them. If a change in the way the team operates is required, then come back with suggestions at the next meeting. You will be able to re-inspire them because you have the information to do so.
Key points:
- Listen to them and let them know you have heard them
- Respond with suggestions but only after consideration (don’t impose)
- Frame your new initiative in ways that will invite them to participate and give them the ability to input and positively affect the successful outcome.
How to approach an unresponsive co-worker
Involve them:
It is important to talk to them about how this will be different to their other experiences, how you see this initiative having a positive effect and what contribution they can make that is unique and needed.
How to approach an unresponsive manager:
Be professional, describe your ideas but plan it so that you can show early success (quick wins). Make them feel that it's their project. As soon as there is a hint of success your boss or managers will want to be on the bandwagon to share your success. Meticulously report even if it is not requested.
STEP 3:
Negative, blocking (It can’t be done)
Negativity to new ideas can be the province of experts. Experts will feel it is their job to control the organisation through the area they are an expert in, rather than use their knowledge to facilitate improvements, changes or new projects. Being an expert is often turned into defensive mode, as people feel they must explain to the uneducated why it is they will fail if they take this approach, as they do think this is what they are paid to do.
The positive intent is one of ‘protection’ but the negative behaviour will appear blocking and manipulative and sooner or later this will become ‘habitual’ (saying ‘no’ before anything else), especially between the experts and the managers.
How to respond
These people are usually significant to the success of your project and it is important that you do not get angry too easily. Explain, inspire, motivate and ask questions. The positive intent is there, and usually what helps is an explanation of why it is an important project for the business and of their role they play in its success. For example; "The work you are doing is important because…."
The story of how Kennedy supposedly built his ‘administration’ for getting a man on the moon within ten years is a good parallel. Apparently, the team consisted of people who thought it could be done and people who thought it was impossible. These experts then worked together (using the expertise about why it could not be done also) to achieve their mission.
Ask experts for their help in making this a success even if they think it is not possible. In fact, tell them “I don’t know if this can work but I would really appreciate your help as it would be wonderful if it could” and you will then have them on-board.
These people will most often have advice worth hearing and listening to and it will help them to stay positive about finding alternative solutions.
How to approach your team when they have the ‘can’t be done’ symptom’:
- As above but take pains to point out what contribution you will look for from each team member.
How to approach the ‘can’t be done’ co-worker:
- These people will often have advice worth hearing but help them to stay positive about finding alternative solutions when there is a problem.
How to approach the ‘can’t be done’ manager:
See "how to approach an unresponsive manager" (Step 2)
STEP 4:
Negative to new ideas, it shouldn’t be done (I don’t see the value)
This type of culture is one that sees the protection of the status quo as an end in itself. Usually people that have been with the company for a long time do not want to rock the boat and are risk averse.
Negative types 2:
How to respond
This negative culture comes from the positive desire to validate what they have created so far and to protect it from damage or change. They are either protective of the hard work done so far or uncertain about the relevance of their contribution to the new.
The key to these people’s hearts is to value what has been created, understand the history of the situation and use it as a building block, building on acknowledged value.
How to approach your team/co-workers/managers when they invalidate your initiatives
- Acknowledge the work that has been done so far and particularly their personal contribution.
- Frame any new initiative as an extension of that work and a validation of the high standards that have been set before, even if circumstances may require changing/ raising some of them.
STEP 5:
Negative social people (negative back-stabbing gossip)
Negative gossip is a typical symptom of autocratic management techniques, otherwise known as ’management by fear’. The underlying culture is based on ‘survival through obtaining internal control or approval’. In other words, people do not feel that their progress in the company will be based on the merit of what they do and what they uniquely bring but on strange internal ground rules and ‘precedence’.
This ‘underground culture’ gives rise to obsessions with status, jealousy, poor team alignment and a ‘dog eat dog’ or ‘only room for one at the top’ attitude.
These are major forces at play, which will generate myths that may or may not hold credence but will have a profoundly negative impact on performance, ‘atmosphere’ and general team responsiveness.
How to respond
The feeling of being unheard by management presents itself in this way. It comes from the positive desire to have their ideas make a positive impact. It comes from a need to communicate their worries, ideas and problems but feel they cannot.
You can approach them in the same way as you would an unresponsive non-caring team as the same symptoms can be identified in both situations.
Approaching the gossiping, back-stabbing team
It is important to let them know you can be approached as a manager and want to hear their ideas. Let them know that you want to be told if they have a problem or need any help.
Create a policy within your team that when a problem occurs you go and speak to the 'source' of the problem rather than simply talk about that person behind their back. This simple principle will have a radical effect on ‘loosening’ the negative habits. Make a game out of it within your team. When people see it happening, remind them that the best way to resolve their issue is to speak directly to the person involved.
STEP 6: Completion
A negative culture is possible to overcome but only by positioning yourself outside of it. So, be extra vigilant about the negative views, judgements and blame that you may have been operating at some level yourself.
Do not try to raise morale as a compensation for practical issues of poor organisation. Organisations tend to move through different levels (up and down) in a scale of creativity.
No organisation can convert its culture from a negative one to a positive one if it is below the level of ‘organised’. Deal with this first and then you can build on from there to a creative and inspired culture.
Communication is critical to all aspects of ‘transforming culture’ and it should always be based on ‘assumed positive intent’ and the most important aspect of listening to people and being seen to respond to them.
People cultures have a scale too and this is based on getting people to communicate in order to move out of disloyalty (unaligned) into engagement and contribution. If you are afraid of hearing about the negative, it will remain suppressed and the positive will never be released.
